I live in New York, where, all too often, I find myself waiting in line at the grocery store as the person behind me yammers away to a friend on speakerphone. Or I’ll be riding the subway next to a dude (it’s always a dude) blasting music from his phone. To me, this sort of behavior is beyond rude. Headphones were invented for a reason!
Of course, we all have different thresholds for what’s annoying. For instance, according to PCMag’s new survey on tech etiquette, 75% of US adults consider it unacceptable to video chat or take phone calls on speaker without headphones in public spaces like coffee shops or grocery stores. However, a full quarter of folks find this behavior acceptable.
(Credit: Cole Kan)
“It’s a little shocking how many people think it’s appropriate to actually use these devices in public, like to play music without headphones, for example,” says business speaker Scott Steinberg, author of The Business Etiquette Bible: Modern and High-Tech Rules, Tips and Training for Working Professionals. (Just under 20% of US adults say playing music without headphones in public spaces is acceptable, according to our survey.) “But at the same time, it mirrors what you see in real-world environments.”
When it comes to tech etiquette, there is often evidence of a generational divide. Our survey of more than 2,000 adults, conducted by YouGov last month, finds that 87% of Boomers believe using speakerphones in public is inappropriate, while 41% of Gen Zers deem this sort of behavior acceptable. “It tells you that you’re seeing changing generational norms and that most of us haven’t received a great deal of training when it comes to high-tech etiquette—we’re kind of left to figure it out for ourselves,” Steinberg says.
“So it makes sense that younger generations would feel their way as they go and as they see their peers using these devices,” he continues. “Whereas older generations perhaps received a little bit more traditional training in terms of etiquette, which has bled over into the high-tech realm.”
Etiquette expert Elaine Swann, the author of the forthcoming Elaine Swann’s Book of Modern Etiquette, expands on Steinberg’s observations. “Gen Z folks grew up with this technology,” she says. “It’s part of their makeup, and so they have a more relaxed perspective in terms of how to use it. The technology comes first, before the consideration piece.”
But what, according to our survey, is the least acceptable thing you can do involving tech? And how do people feel about, say, sending a text or email written by ChatGPT? Read on to learn more about what people think is rude and what is OK when it comes to modern-day tech usage.
How Terrible Is Snooping on Someone Else’s Device?
Our survey finds that 84% of US adults consider looking at a partner’s device without their knowledge to be unacceptable, with the remaining 16% finding such snooping OK. However, nearly one-quarter (23%) of Millennials view looking through a partner’s device as acceptable.
But the worst action of all is looking at a friend or family member’s device without their knowledge: 92% of respondents call it unacceptable.
(Credit: Cole Kan)
Why is peeping at a friend or family member’s device considered worse? “I think that intimacy gives a person more comfort in accessing [their partner’s] device,” Swann says.
Steinberg cites the lurid, tech-enabled cheating stories we’ve all heard as the reason people in relationships are “a little bit more comfortable engaging in these behaviors, even if they wouldn’t, for example, snoop on a friend or family member.” He adds, “It’s just to say it’s hard out there on the dating scene.”
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Is Having ChatGPT Write Your Text or Email OK?
Sending a text or email written by ChatGPT might seem convenient, but people are split on whether it’s OK. A majority—56%—deem it unacceptable. However, younger generations are more forgiving: 51% of Gen Zers and 54% of Millennials find using ChatGPT in these instances acceptable.
“Gen Z and Millenials think it’s more acceptable because they’re balancing more things in their lives, and looking for ways to be more efficient,” Swann says. “With the older generations, they have a very strong work ethic and ChatGPT feels like they’re cheating.”
But Steinberg thinks the entire population’s views on using generative AI for texts and emails are likely to change dramatically over the next few years. “As AI becomes more and more integrated into virtually every aspect of communications, in business and our daily lives, we’re going to become more accepting of it,” he says, “just because it’s going to be there at every turn.”
Why Gen Z Is (Mostly) Different
Three-quarters of US adults say that texting or emailing while actively conversing with someone else IRL is unacceptable. However, 40% of Gen Zers think this behavior is no problem. “Gen Z folks prioritize electronic communication over verbal communication,” Swann explains. “This is the same generation that has challenges making phone calls, and they tend to be a little more socially awkward.”
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Gen Zers also rank first among the generations when it comes to thinking it’s acceptable to use devices in the bathroom, whether for a selfie or a mirror shot: 44% consider it just fine. “Gen Z thinks it’s OK, because if the lighting is right, honey, they’re going to take that shot,” Swann says.
(Note: Click on the headers in the chart below to see what different generations think.)
Meanwhile, nearly three in four adults overall find it unacceptable. Steinberg, who is Gen X, isn’t a fan of bathroom phone usage. “People are social creatures,” he says. “We learn from our environments. Unfortunately, you know, I guess some of us learn from the next stall.”
Generations tend to align when it comes to recording or photographing strangers in public. Eight in 10 US adults find such behavior unacceptable, but around one in five from each generation—Gen Z (19%), Millennials (22%), Gen X (21%), and Boomers (19%)—are cool with it.
“It is good to know that [overall] people do find this unacceptable because we should be mindful of recording strangers in public, and even people we know,” Swann says. “I always say that if you take a picture with someone, just take a millisecond to ask them if you can post it online before you do.”
Methodology
PCMag commissioned YouGov to conduct the survey. All figures, unless otherwise stated, are from YouGov. Total sample size was 2,104 adults. Fieldwork was undertaken from May 13-15. The survey was carried out online. The figures have been weighted and are representative of all US adults (aged 18 and older).
Disclosure: Ziff Davis, PCMag’s parent company, filed a lawsuit against OpenAI in April 2025, alleging it infringed Ziff Davis copyrights in training and operating its AI systems.
About Mark Yarm
Executive Editor, Features & Special Projects
