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Reading: Don’t Let the Fuzzy Rats Win: Tips from a Squirrel Hater Who’s Seen It All
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World of Software > Gadget > Don’t Let the Fuzzy Rats Win: Tips from a Squirrel Hater Who’s Seen It All
Gadget

Don’t Let the Fuzzy Rats Win: Tips from a Squirrel Hater Who’s Seen It All

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Last updated: 2025/10/25 at 6:34 AM
News Room Published 25 October 2025
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Squirrels: Are they just rats with better PR? Be advised that this is not safe reading material for squirrel lovers, or even squirrel apologists. In my opinion, squirrels are worse than rats—smarter, more devious, more destructive. I’ve had them nest in my chimney, chew holes in my eaves to get into my walls, and destroy multiple bird feeders. I even had one chew through an entire 4-by-2 pergola rafter to get at a suet block.

With the popularity of smart bird feeders, it’s even more important to learn ways to keep them out of your yard, lest they turn your investment into a pile of chewed-up plastic bits. To make matters worse, if you live on the West Coast like I do, you’re likely to be dealing with the Eastern gray squirrel, which is a nonnative, invasive species that competes for resources with native species like Western gray squirrels. What’s a backyard bird enthusiast to do?

Lucky for you, I’ve been feeding birds for almost 25 years across three different states, and have been testing smart feeders for the past year, fighting near-daily battles with these furry neighborhood foes. I’ve tried it all and found out what works—and what doesn’t—so you can keep your sanity intact.

For more birdy business, check out our guides to the Best Smart Bird Feeders, the Best Binoculars, and the Best Gifts for Bird Lovers.

The Golden (5-7-9) Rule

Photograph: Kat Merck

OnlyFly

Bird Feeder Pole Stand

First off, there is a tried-and-true method of foiling squirrels, and it’s both free and harmless. Experts refer to it as the 5-7-9 Rule: Keep your feeder at least 5 feet off the ground, 7 feet away from structures like houses, trees, or fences; and 9 feet away from anything overhead that they could jump from, such as a tree branch or roof. This usually means putting your feeder on a pole with a baffle (I use the set above), or hanging it from a tall shepherd’s hook.

If you’re in the market for a bird feeder, especially a smart feeder, it’s imperative that it have the option to hang or be pole-mounted, because if you can only mount it on a fence or a tree, you’re essentially rolling out the welcome mat for squirrels. (All the smart feeders I recommend, including Birdfy and Bird Buddy, include pole mounts.) If you want to go the extra mile, you can also grease your pole with Crisco, which doesn’t last long but is good for an entertaining day or two.

Note that if your smart feeder doesn’t have an attached solar panel to charge the battery, you likely won’t be able to mount it on the pole with the feeder without some jury-rigging, so I recommend going for a model with a built-in solar roof or no solar panel at all.

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