Does the world really need another PowerWash Simulator game? No, some will say. Probably people who have never played the original and don’t understand the appeal, but like to tilt their head with a mixture of bemusement and condescension and say: “So what do you do in the game? Just wash things?”
(It feels unfair that other pastimes don’t have to justify themselves like this. No one ever says, “Wait, you just run around the park in a circle for five kilometres?” Or, “So you just kick the ball with your foot?”)
Yes, is the short answer. You point your hose at whatever mucky thing is in front of you – a bungalow, a monster truck, Lara Croft’s mansion – and blast all that filth into oblivion. Each time you finish a section, a pleasing ”ding” rings out, triggering your brain to release a little bit more dopamine. This is the only sound in the game, save for the rush of water and the occasional clang of a metal ladder. The whole experience is intensely soothing, deeply satisfying, and mesmerising. I love it.
I love it so much that in 2023 I played PowerWash Simulator for 24 hours, 6 minutes and 33 seconds, live on streaming service Twitch – setting the Guinness World Record for the longest time spent playing the game.
I would not recommend it. As enjoyable as the game is, the shine does start to wear off after about… 20 hours. I remember things started to get weird around 4am. The bright primary colours of the children’s playground I was cleaning began swirling together in a psychedelic frenzy. My vision was blurring, my fingers were aching, and I was overcome by a burning rage at the local council for allowing the climbing frame to get into this state.
I pushed through with the support of my Twitch community, who encouraged me to keep going and reminded me that a reality outside the game did exist. But I had flashbacks for months afterwards. Sometimes, lying in bed at night, I was convinced I could still hear the endless hiss of the jet spray, and would worry I’d given myself tinnitus. To this day I find it difficult to walk past a slide without checking the underside for mildew.
Funnily enough, I didn’t feel like playing PowerWash Simulator for a while after the record-setting session. But it has been a joy to pick up the sequel and rediscover the sense of achievement that only comes from obliterating the final speck of encrusted faecal matter from a chrome toilet bowl. Bliss.
It helps that this instalment feels a touch more forgiving when it comes to cleaning every last atom of dirt. There is also a new target icon directing you to bits you’ve missed, which makes finishing missions less frustrating.
And of course there are new things to wash. PowerWash Simulator 2 features 38 missions in total, including an airship, a mobility scooter and a shopping mall. New gadgets include a surface cleaner for more efficient floor polishing, and a harness system so you can abseil down buildings. There’s a wider selection of soaps and nozzles, plus a new home base where you can display evidence of your achievements. This is particularly appealing if you’re the kind of person who has hung their (three) Guinness World Record certificates in the hallway so they’re the first thing the DPD driver sees when you open your front door.
None of this adds up to a radical departure from the original game. Nor is the sequel likely to win over people who couldn’t see the point the first time around. But PowerWash Simulator 2 gives the fans what they want: new things to wash, extra toys to play with, further unchallenging yet satisfying gameplay. Plus the option to occasionally draw a crude representation of male genitalia in the dirt for lols. With all the madness going on out there, this is exactly the game the world needs right now.
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