There was a time when being single in your 20s was seen as a style of independence and self-discovery. However, science has put a figure on the table that changes this concept that we could have in our minds: from the age of 25, the emotional well-being of those who have never had a relationship begins to suffer.
A change of vision. It has been the University of Zurich that has decided to take the step of investigating the “social clock” of the youngest in society, which has resulted in an article published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Right now, many studies were focused on the impact of dating apps and how the dating paradigm has changed today.
But they have taken a turn to investigate 17,390 young people from Germany and the United Kingdom, tracking their lives from ages 16 to 29 with the aim of correlating their emotional life with their romantic situation.
A “single” profile. One of the most striking conclusions of the research by Michael Kremer and his team is who stays single the longest. Contrary to the stereotype that being single is a purely bohemian choice, the data shows clear patterns.
The first of all is that men are more likely to remain single for a long time, that is, they have never had a romantic relationship. But there is also a direct correlation with high academic training, since young people with higher educational levels tend to delay their first relationship.
The environment. But a great paradigm shift in recent years is undoubtedly in poor access to housing. The fact that many young people continue to live with their parents is undoubtedly a great determining factor in this love trajectory for young people.
The turning point. Until age 23 or 24, there are no critical differences in life satisfaction between those who have had a partner and those who have not. However, upon crossing the 25-year threshold, the gap widens.
In this case, the researchers detected that young people who have never been in a relationship show significantly higher levels of loneliness and depressive symptoms as they approach 30. According to the authors, this is because the social environment begins to put pressure implicitly, and the comparison with peers (who already establish long-term commitments) generates a feeling of exclusion.
The healing power. But beyond the negative part for all those who have spent 25 years without a partner, the reality is that they have also seen that the first relationship has an incredible healing power. Especially when we talk about these long-term singles who find a partner.
The transition to the first relationship brings an immediate increase in life satisfaction and a drastic drop in feelings of loneliness. Interestingly, although loneliness decreases, depressive symptoms take longer to stabilize, suggesting that the lack of previous experience leaves an emotional imprint that is not instantly erased with the first “I love you.”
Social pressure. This work opens an interesting debate about mental health in the era of dating apps and job insecurity. Although society increasingly values autonomy, the human brain appears to still respond to traditional social milestones. For Michael Krämer and his team, the problem is not singleness itself, but the mismatch between the desire for connection and the reality of a solitary life that extends beyond what the individual, or his environment, considers “normal.”
And today there is above all pressure from the family that does not stop asking classic questions about when someone is going to have a partner to take them to family events. This is nothing more than a big problem for young people who see how they are arriving late to something that for many people is normal, especially if we look at the past where relationships and marriages increasingly emerged much earlier.
Images | Vitaly Gariev
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