THERE was always this feeling at the back of my mind that he might be cheating.
I had caught some sketchy behaviour in the past and the trust had never fully healed.
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Despite being assured that was all in the past and he had learnt his lesson, the doubts still ate away at the back of my mind.
He was always mega secretive and repeatedly said his iPhone was his private space.
I agree – but when you’ve already been caught chatting to other guys, you really need to pull your finger out to rebuild trust.
So, one night when we watched a movie in bed together on his iPad and he fell asleep I seized my chance to find everything I needed to know – and in some unexpected places.
Even if you know your other half’s phone PIN there are still ways they can sneakily hide their cheating tracks.
Raiding a partner’s personal digital space really should be a last resort.
It’s morally wrong and not something I’m proud of – but I feel better for it and I’m now in a much happier place with someone else as a result.
Here’s how I unearthed my ex’s dirty secrets – and other tips I’ve learnt along the way as The Sun’s tech expert.
APP DECEPTION
That’s just a calculator app, swipe…
Or is it?
Some dating apps allow you to change the appearance of their icons so you don’t think anything of them.
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There is also a trick on iPhone that lets do this too.
And this is ultimately the first solid proof I found of my ex’s treacherous secret life.
I tapped what looked like an ordinary calculator app to find it was merely a mask for a hook-up app.
To my horror – but not completely surprise – there was a treasure trove of messages and X-rated pics.
DELETED MESSAGES
Assuming you can get onto your partner’s iPhone, there is a way to retrieve deleted text messages.
When you delete a text it doesn’t disappear immediately.
They sit in a “bin” of sorts and will be permanently deleted after 40 days unless you specifically choose to empty it.
You can find this by going to the Messages app and tapping Edit in the top left.
Look for Show Recently Deleted and you will see any messages there.
CHECK CONTACTS
Don’t assume “David work” is some random from the office you don’t know.
Cheaters will use this as a tactic to divert attention so you think nothing of it when the name pops up.
Check for any texts to contacts you don’t recognise.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
HIDDEN PHOTO ALBUMS
iPhone has two photo albums worth checking – the hidden album and the deleted album.
The hidden album contains images that the iPhone owner has intentionally tucked away from appearing in the main view, which is already quite suspicious.
There’s also a deleted album too, where cheaters may accidentally leave evidence they’ve been up to no good.
You need to know your partner’s PIN to access these.
Go to the Photos app, scroll to the bottom and look for Hidden and Recently Deleted.
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