SIMPLE tricks to overcome awkward social moments so people instantly like you have been revealed by experts – along with the common mistakes to avoid.
You don’t need to be an over-thinker to wonder if others like you – it’s a question everyone has pondered at some point in their lives.
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But there’s a heap of science and psychological research to increase your chances of being liked.
Here, some of the UK’s leading psychotherapists share their little-known, top tips to ensure your popularity sky-rockets.
Seek their wisdom
People like to feel like their opinion is valued.
Picking someone’s brains on a topic they feel they know a lot about could create a bond.
“Asking for advice is like giving someone a gold star,” Victoria Lacey, a cognitive behavioural therapist for GetCBT told The Sun.
“It shows you respect their opinions and expertise, making them feel important and respected.
“Who doesn’t love feeling like a guru?”
Mirroring
A well-known technique studied by experts is mirroring.
This is also known as the “chameleon effect”.
This involves subtly mimicking the other person’s body language, gestures, and facial expressions.
Research from New York University found that people who were mimicked during interactions liked their partners more.
“Tune in,” explains Jo Swann, author of As Intense As It Gets, It’s Just Turbulence.
“If they’re soft and reflective, don’t bulldoze in with force.
“If they’re expressive and lively, meet that energy.”
The ‘mere-exposure’ effect
Simply spending more time around someone can make them like you more, Victoria says.
“This phenomenon, known as the mere-exposure effect, suggests that familiarity breeds liking.
“For example, a study found that students rated people they saw more frequently in class as more likable, even if they never interacted with them.”
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Be yourself – but don’t overshare
Authenticity highlights your unique qualities and individuality.
This can make you stand out in a positive way.
“People are often drawn to those who are confident in their own skin and who embrace their uniqueness,” Victoria continues.
“This can make you more memorable and likable.”
However, Jo warns not to “flood the space with your whole life story right away.”
“Connection isn’t a confession booth, it’s a dance,” she says.
“Share in response. Share with care.”
Let others talk about themselves
Jo recommends asking open-ended, curious questions too.
This not only helps the conversation flow but also shows an interest in the other person.
“When you let people share their stories, it lights up the same pleasure centres in your brain as eating your favourite snack or finding a surprise tenner in your pocket,” Victoria adds.
“Allowing others to share their stories and experiences can make them feel good and more connected to you.”
Avoid coming across critical
Sounding critical or judgemental can give people the wrong impression.
Even correcting others can turn them off you.
“Instead, address specific behaviours and share your perspective in a way that invites discussion,” Victoria says.
Jo adds: “People don’t need your advice, unless they ask for it, but they do need your presence. Especially early on.
“So instead of offering fixes or clever insights, just be with them. Nod. Acknowledge.
“Let them feel met. That’s far more powerful than anything you can say.”
PHRASES TO AVOID
By Victoria Lacey, cognitive behavioural therapist
Victoria says phrases such as “actually, it’s like this” come across condescending.
And using phrases like “you always…” or “you never…” can make people feel unfairly judged.
Instead, address specific behaviours and share your perspective in a way that invites discussion.
