I was born with sickle cell disease, an inherited blood disorder. It doesn’t hinder my passion for food, but I had to learn to navigate the world with balance — alternating periods of exertion and rest to prevent a painful crisis.
One such crisis began in December 2023. I went to a New York City hospital for what I thought would be a routine stay. Six weeks later, I woke from a coma in a different hospital. A tube helped me breathe. Eventually, doctors would amputate my legs and my fingers. After seven months in the hospital, I went home in an ambulance. Eventually, I’d acquire an electric wheelchair and prosthetic hands and legs.
Throughout my two-decade career as a cook — working in restaurants and test kitchens, developing recipes and writing cookbooks — I have been aware of limitations: the hottest temperature I could quickly coax flavor from carrots, how impulsively I could move my body without eliciting a sickle cell crisis.
Now I would face my greatest limitations yet. I was certain I would return to the kitchen. I just needed to figure out how.
Adaptation
In the hospital, a friend would visit me with pastries. That’s how I first encountered the brown butter cornmeal cake from Radio Bakery in Brooklyn. It was assertive in its nuttiness, an exquisite balance of sweet and savory, with a crunchy exterior and a dense, pillowy softness within. It was the perfect complement to the first sips of coffee I could manage. I knew I wanted to bake a version of it.
When I got home, I had to rediscover myself — as a person, a wife, a mother and a cook. A daily rotation of home health aides assisted me with the mundane tasks of bathing and dressing.
I began dreaming of the foods I yearned to make. So much of my body had changed, but I still had my sense of taste and smell, my culinary knowledge, my ability to eye when a dish is cooked just right. But when I returned to work as a columnist and recipe developer last April, I now needed the help of a cooking assistant who would act as my hands.
The inspiration for my recipes still begins as a sensory image evocative enough to pine for, or a thought that floats across my mind. But how I write them down has changed, as I talk to my computer and rely on its accessibility software to record my words in text form. (Sometimes, it doesn’t understand my Nigerian accent until I enunciate the syllables in a clipped tone.)
Each day, my rotating cast of assistants and I begin at my kitchen table, going over a recipe step by step. They’re in charge of chopping and slicing ingredients, cooking the dish, navigating the too-tall counters and impossible-to-open cabinets. I watch, touch, listen, taste and take in the aromas. I try to lead with kindness, and I don’t mind repeating myself.
I’m not always successful. I sometimes get impatient sharing a space that was once mine alone. And there’s the frustration of needing to ask for help while giving guidance. It’s odd to lead my personal kitchen brigade without the ability to show the best method for folding butter into dough for delicately thin layers.
I’ve tried to focus on the skills I still have and consign to the future the ones I must relearn using my new prosthetic limbs, like how to whisk a bowl of cream to milky soft peaks.
Nearly two years into my recovery, I finally got around to adapting the recipe for the brown butter cornmeal cake. It’s inspired by a classic French brown butter financier, substituting coarse ground cornmeal for the traditional almond flour, while turbinado sugar gently sweetens the cake and gives it a crunchy exterior.
I added my own touch: cherries for their tartness and fleshy texture (fresh or frozen; sour, Bing or dark sweet cherries will work). Here it is:
Revival
In a life spent traversing long distances, my journey back to the kitchen has been one of the greatest distances I’ve ever traveled. Cooking was once my time to reflect on the past and the future as I stood stirring or watching something come together in a pan, planning articles, recipes, cookbooks.
Now so much of my life is spent leaning on others, and making food is no longer a solitary and meditative act. It calls to mind a phrase in Yoruba, “A jọ ṣé pọ̀,” meaning, “We do it together” or “We collaborate.” This has become a refrain that I recite while I’m writing recipes, sharing meals with loved ones and performing the once simple tasks of everyday life.
I’m still very much in recovery. I’ve had my prosthetic hands for several months; I’m now learning to walk on my new legs. But I relish the curative effects — physiologically and psychologically — of food. Sometimes it’s a Nigerian dish that, for a brief moment, sends me back to the kitchen of my childhood home in Lagos. Even a pedestrian dish like fried calamari or shrimp scampi can excite my will to live. I find myself marveling at how little it takes to feel alive.
THE LATEST NEWS
Immigration
War in Ukraine
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A second round of trilateral talks to end the war has been postponed after a surprise meeting between Russian and U.S. negotiators in Florida.
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The price of Russian oil has plummeted, but there is little sign that economic strains will cause Vladimir Putin to change his calculations on the war.
Health
THE SUNDAY DEBATE
Bill Belichick was not elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame this year, his first time on the ballot. Should he have been?
Yes. The decision is an embarrassment that damages the legitimacy of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. “If winning six Super Bowls as New England Patriots coach — more than any coach in history — doesn’t ensure induction, then nothing will,” Jarrett Bell writes for USA Today.
SPORTS
Tennis: Carlos Alcaraz beat Novak Djokovic in the Australian Open final to complete a career Grand Slam.
Boxing: After the heavyweight Jarrell Miller started losing his hairpiece during a fight last night at Madison Square Garden, he pulled it off and threw it into the crowd.
BOOK OF THE WEEK
“Football,” by Chuck Klosterman: Just in time for Super Bowl season, here’s a best-selling book to get you in the mood. Klosterman, a cultural critic and lifelong fan, parses the game for neophytes and for humans of the future where, he writes, “Football will be described in the same way we currently recall Roman gladiators, an enforced memory that’s mostly wrong.” With humor, self-deprecation and appropriate gravity, he considers why the sport is so popular; how it serves as the ultimate icebreaker among strangers; and whether it’s being unfairly targeted for health risks to players. “Football” is not a polemic, nor is it a love letter. Think of it as a time capsule you don’t need to wait to open, packed with artifacts that are fun to sift through whether you watched “Friday Night Lights” or not.
THE INTERVIEW
This week’s subject for The Interview is Jacob Frey, the mayor of Minneapolis, whom I spoke with in Washington, D.C., on Thursday.
Gov. Tim Walz has called on people to videotape ICE agents. That is, of course, legal, but do you agree that politicians should be encouraging that?
Sunlight is the best disinfectant. So do I support people actively recording what’s taking place in public? Yeah, I support that, absolutely. I mean, it’s called “in public” for a reason. Imagine if we didn’t have some of these recordings. Imagine if the shooting that took place recently of Alex Pretti was not recorded for everybody to see. Then we’d be running with these garbage narratives that are created by the federal government that are false, and we’d all be living in a lie.
One of the things that also struck me about the protest movement is how it’s really shown the limits of what politicians can do, especially at a local level. Earlier this week, Anderson Cooper from CNN interviewed Stella Carlson, a woman who captured video of Alex Pretti being shot and killed, and she said, “I think people are feeling like there’s nobody here to help us, there’s nobody who can step in to protect us.” What would you say to that?
First, let me applaud the tens of thousands of people in Minneapolis and in Minnesota that have been standing up for their neighbors. Perhaps that’s a phrase that gets overly used, “standing up for your neighbors,” but they are doing it in such beautiful form, whether that’s encouraging constitutional conduct through videotaping and transparency or taking your neighbor that is terrified to go outside to the grocery store or collecting food and giving it to them or standing watch outside of a day care. I mean, we have seen so many people stand up for their neighbors, and I’ve never been prouder to be part of Minneapolis. Of course there are limitations on what we’re able to do at any level of government. And there are also those limitations that are not just baked in under the law, but also baked in on the practical reality of where we find ourselves right now.
Explain.
We’re not going to outgun the federal government. Not to mention that would be wildly dangerous for the very communities that we want to protect. Nobody wants that.
Read more of the interview here. Or watch a longer version on YouTube.
THE NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE
Snowed in for the weekend? You wouldn’t be the only one. Anything can happen this time of year, so it’s never a bad idea to load up on ingredients for some tried-and-true meals. Emily Weinstein’s Five Weeknight Dishes newsletter has some great ones, starting with Ali Slagle’s chicken and white bean stew recipe.
