Gay Muslim influencer hosts inclusive Ramadan meal and calls for acceptance across faiths

BERLIN (AP) — Ali Darwich, a gay Muslim influencer in Berlin, picks up a date from his plate, takes a sip of water, and addresses the 15 friends sitting around the table and breaking the Ramadan fast with him.

The 33-year-old German with Palestinian and Lebanese roots — who goes by @alifragt or “Ali asks” on Instagram — has a quickly growing following on Instagram, where he draws attention to the difficulties of living as a young, queer Muslim and calls for more tolerance and inclusiveness.

“Tonight we want to send a message that no matter where a person comes from, no matter who that person loves, no matter how queer that person is, they cannot be too queer … because they are exactly as they should be,” Darwich says, smiling at the diverse group of Muslims and Christians, Germans and immigrants, gay and straight people sharing this meal with him as the sun sets over Berlin.

“I am a believer, I believe in God, and I find Islam beautiful, just like Christianity or Judaism and many other religions,” he says. But he adds that it’s not always easy for homosexuals to be accepted — not just for Muslims but also for queer Christians and believers of many other religions.

Indeed, attacks against LGBTQ+ people and gay-friendly establishments are rising across Germany, including in Berlin, a city that has historically embraced the community.

According to the latest figures from 2024, there was a 40% increase in violence targeting LGBTQ+ people in 12 of Germany’s 16 federal states as compared to 2023, according to the Association of Counseling Centers for Victims of Right-Wing, Racist and Antisemitic Violence.

Darwich calls for inclusion of homosexual Muslims

In one of his Instagram videos, Darwich sits by himself on a table during Ramadan and talks about the loneliness some Muslim homosexuals face when they are shunned by their families. It makes life hard, he says, especially during holidays that are usually a time of togetherness.

He calls on people to open their hearts and doors to queer Muslims so they don’t have to be alone for Iftar, the evening meal during Ramadan.

And for his gay followers he also has a message on Instagram: “You deserve to break your fast surrounded by people who accept you — fully and without conditions.”

Darwich’s coming out a few years ago wasn’t easy.

When he told his mother about it, she at first didn’t want to believe him, then she cried and they didn’t talk for half a year. Many other members of his extended family also were taken aback.

“From one day to the next, I was no longer invited. Not only to Ramadan, but also to family celebrations, and that was a very difficult time for me,” he told The Associated Press in an interview this week.

Friends stepping up when your family shuns you

While Darwich and his mom are getting along just fine now, he said it helped him tremendously at the time that his friends stepped up and became a kind of family for him, supporting and accepting him.

For this week’s “real life” Iftar in Berlin, his friend Randa Weiser, 40, a German-Palestinian influencer who shares her everyday life with three kids and husband on social media under the handle @randa_and_the_gang, has opened her home for Ali and his and her friends.

She cooked up a feast of freekeh soup, fragrant yellow rice with almonds, raisins and cardamon, grilled chicken drumsticks, and a variety of sweets for desserts.

“It’s an absolute colorful mix tonight,” she said referring to the crowd around the Iftar table. While most people are German, many of their families originally come from faraway places like Jordan, Lebanon and Morocco, Turkey, Chechnya and Syria, Iran and Peru.

Weiser said she got “some hate” on Instagram when she posted earlier in the day that she was about to host an inclusive Iftar, but mostly, she says her followers agree that “you can be Muslim and gay or lesbian.”

As the crowd — many of them influencers as well — dug into Weiser’s food, they didn’t miss an opportunity to shoot video of one another and post it quickly on their accounts.

One of them, Darwich’s good friend Haidar Darwish, a belly dancer and artist who came from Syria in 2016, had dressed up for the occasion with a red fez and a white, gold-embroidered gallabiyah.

“The hate and crimes against women, Muslim people, Jewish people also, and queers and trans siblings of mine have increased,” said Darwish, who goes by @thedarvishofficial on Instagram.

“But no matter how much the others will show us hate, we can show more love only if we are believing in ourselves,” he said, adding that they will be fine as long as they have “the help of our allies and friends and people that have our backs.”