COLE PALMER threatened to achieve something no other man has managed — to upstage Donald Trump.
Where Keir Starmer, Volodymyr Zelensky and even Vladimir Putin have failed, a spindly kid from Manchester succeeded and put America’s caricature President in the shade.
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Two magical goals and an equally masterful assist had victory in the bag for Chelsea two minutes before half-time. Against a team considered untouchable.
Big Bad Don was watching from under cover in the VIP section of the MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.
And it did not take him long to hog back the limelight from Palmer — standing slap bang in the middle of Chelsea’s trophy lift with the attacker looking on bemused.
Few without an allegiance to Stamford Bridge will have been rooting for Palmer in blue here yesterday afternoon at the venue for next year’s World Cup final… but think ahead to July 19 next year when he may well be doing it in the white of England.
It’s a tantalising image even if we must keep a little calm and remember this is a glorified summer kickabout dreamed up by Fifa boss Gianni Infantino as a willy-waving exercise and a counter to the expansion of European competition by Uefa.
Nonetheless, poster boy Palmer has adorned every advertising hoarding, social media meme and electronic billboard these past four weeks.
And like a true star he kept his audience waiting until the very end for the piece de resistance to his magical show.
Two classy goals and an artistic assist had European champions Paris Saint-Germain beaten not long after the first mandatory hydration break as they are referred to here in the sweltering suburbs of New York.
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With Palmer leading the way, Chelsea did to PSG what PSG did to Real Madrid in the semi final and smashed them at full speed under a burning sun, where a lad from Wythenshawe would have been expected to wilt.
Instead he produced three magic moments like three lighting counter punches in a world title fight. And PSG with all their hipster credentials were on the ropes.
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The French had only conceded one goal during the entire competition prior to meeting Chelsea.
The talk was of two, three, four nil to Luis Enrique’s rampant Champions League winners early doors.
But for all their undoubted talent, they clearly aren’t very clever. Palmer had made it patently obvious where he was going to be shooting at. Much like Trump did with Iran.
They can’t say they weren’t warned.
After only eight minutes Chelsea’s most naturally gifted player shaved Gianluigi Donnarumma’s right hand with a left foot curler.
Just fourteen minutes later he found the net for the first time from the same spot. The only difference? He went low instead of high. Is it really so easy to bamboozle the runaway champions of Europe?
Because another eight minutes on and he did it again. The lofted ball out of defence by Trevoh Chalobah set him free.
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Palmer’s top and check on the 18 yard line was the stuff of instinct. Up there with Lionel Messi.
It was enough to put defender Lucas Beraldo on his backside and Palmer chose the same place to plunder number two.
And with three minutes to go until half time, he showed the confidence to exquisitely chip the PSG defence. The kind of weighted lob that a golfer like Trump would have appreciated.
The Club World Cup has been something of a political plaything. Infantino was purring that having rented office space at Trump Towers in Manhattan this week, his new bestie was coming along to watch the soccer as they call it over here.
But after this masterclass from a young bloke of few words who does all the talking in shorts and boots, there is an argument for who is the most powerful man in the world.
Palmer played his part in a supreme and unlikely team effort that upset the odds.
Keeper Robert Sanchez stepped up when required with some cracking saves – all in-front of Coldplay, who performed during the very American half-time show.
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PSG made it even harder for themselves to mount a comeback when Joao Neves was sent off for pulling the hair of Marc Cucurella.
And they lost their heads at the end as Enrique came on to the pitch and grabbed Pedro around the neck, leaving the Brazilian on the deck. A mass brawl also saw Donnarumma confront Pedro.
The angry scenes continued for a couple of minutes despite Maresca’s attempts to drag his players away.
But now Chelsea are world champions and £111million richer. Whether they are the best team in the world is an argument to be had.
They were only the fourth best team in England last season, so Liverpool, Arsenal and Manchester City alone might claim to be ahead of them in that particular queue.
They were invited along for having won the Champions League four years ago. The season before last they weren’t in Europe at all.
They have blown more than a billion quid on players and at Christmas time they lost to Ipswich.
Now the boys from Kings Road in London are kings of the world and a handy £97 million better off.
And even Donald Trump knows who Cole Palmer is.
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